Mali: These brides who expose their intimacy on social media

By S. DOUMBIA

Bamako, March 21 (AMAP) The new generation has crossed the Rubicon. The unwritten rules of the bridal chamber are now boldly disregarded. Young brides with their sisters and friends have no qualms about exposing a part of the couple’s intimacy through images posted on social networks.

Being photographed or filmed in the bridal chamber and posting the images on social networks is the new phenomenon that excites the youth 2.0. More and more young brides, not fearing any disapproval from the community, are playing along. Today, the practice horrifies puritans who intend to combat it through awareness on the same social networks and education on good etiquette and manners. In any case, the elders do not tolerate seeing unwritten rules of the bridal chamber being blatantly violated.

Youthful brides in the bridal chamber (kognosso) have created the phenomenon of photo sessions or filming either with their friends or alone and then posting them on social networks. Whereas in the past, images from the bridal chamber were found in a photo album. And only close friends had the right to take a look. A new practice that goes against our traditions. Bridal counselors do not hesitate to denounce it.

A bridal counselor is often made available to young couples during the wedding. Generally of a certain age, she remains an encyclopedia that teaches spouses, especially the bride, good practices and proper manners. But also, about how to behave in society in general and in the extended family in particular.

Ms. Gakou Astan Koné has been a bridal counselor for years. According to her, tradition is losing ground because young brides seem to pay no attention to traditional practices that actually protect them from certain difficulties related to married life and family. “The bridal chamber was established to educate the couple, teach the spouses to respect each other, to remain calm. Another aspect of the bridal chamber is to strengthen the faith of the couples or introduce them to Islam. But also, to teach the wife how to manage relationships with her extended family and to push her limits even in uncomfortable situations. The man is equally affected by the advice,” explains the counselor of traditions.

CHAOS – All this takes place away from prying eyes, in strict respect of the couple’s intimacy, especially the bride’s. But, as Ms. Gakou Astan Koné observes, there is a new practice among the younger generation. “The bride’s friends come to chat under the mosquito net, cut the cake, and even take photos,” the bridal counselor laments.

Considering that they are thereby breaking the unwritten rules of the bridal chamber, the bridal counselor says she was scandalized by a couple she was counseling. “The bride, her sisters, and friends created chaos. This in a tumult that even bothered the neighbors,” she recounts. Ms. Gakou Astan Koné expresses her feelings of powerlessness and, in hindsight, tries to find a justification for this “evolution.” But for her, this should in no way justify the depravities we see in the bridal chamber.

Ms. Touré Mamy, an interpreter and mediator for migrants residing in France, agrees. Originally from Mali, she does not appreciate this practice of the new generation. “I got married in 2015, so not long ago. For me, this change is linked to several things, including family, religion, and education. The rules of the bridal chamber are strict, and many of our sisters cannot bear them,” she says. “Today’s girls have no privacy, which is why they expose themselves on social networks, under the pretext of being in tune with societal evolution,” she regrets.

Is the younger generation aware that they are transgressing this tradition that is part of the operating rules of our society? Not at all, according to Néné. This young girl sees no problem with the new practice. She even thinks it’s normal that when you get married, you should show it. And the appropriate channel today is social networks.

Faced with this trend among the youth bordering on recklessness, Daouda Diarra, the imam of a mosque in Niamana, urges a reconsideration. “Let’s go back to our fundamentals, our culture, but also our customs and traditions. Let’s refer to religion, otherwise one day we will regret it,” the religious leader warned.

“How can we explain that in the bridal chamber, a couple can film their intimacy and expose it on social networks,” the imam wonders. Before reminding that in the past, only the husband could see the face of his wife in the bridal chamber.

SD/MD (AMAP)